Life, Feelings, Death and Books

Life 
Life has a quirky way of living it out. Sometimes, we want it to slow down but it doesn't. We beg for some time but it doesn't oblige. You have more things to do than you can handle, you have more people looking at you than you can answer. Sometimes, it becomes so slow that it seems like what moon looked to us when we were little, how far you go, it doesn't change its position. Now, you have time but don't have much to handle, you have answers but nobody questions. Again, not what you wanted for. Maybe, thatswhy, people say Live in the Present.


Feelings
You know your own true feelings for a person only when that person goes far from you. Its an untold truth. I used to get a message by sms or whatsapp regarding a person who wakes up one day and find himself in heaven and he is looking at his wife, his kids, his parents, his friends who are in condolence organised at his home and thinks about how less he did for them. He recalls how badly his wife wanted his love, his parents his care, his kids his time and how he was rude to his friends. He wants now to do something for them but can't. He cries and then suddenly he realised that he was still sleeping and it was a dream. He thanked god.
I agree with the moral of the story that be the best to the people around you when you're still around.


Death
Death seems like a person is pulled by a fork that came from the sky. It must come but at the age when a person has lived out his full life. When limbs are weak, memory is failing, teeth are no more then its ok but not when one want to see the world.

A person is not just a body. He is a collection of wisdom, feelings, experience, relations and knowledge. He is a unique and he is a world in himself. So, when a person dies, dies alongwith him this entire collection and the vacuum created can never be filled.

Why only for human beings, I feel bad for the strays as well I see killed on the highways. I think that this dog was having inquisitive eyes which used to focus sharp after hearing  any sound, this dog was having a nose which used to smell anything from a distance, this dog wanted to eat the various stuff, this dog was having a brain which used to tell him to go straight or to left or to right or to run or to bark and all that. But now, the body is lying without any feelings or any thoughts.

Dies with a person, an entire world.


Books I read recently

Half Girlfriend - "Five point some one" seems to be the only crisp book from Chetan Bhagat. Others are like Cheese burst pizzas - you enjoy during eating, you detest after eating.

I too had a love story - Nicely written book. Has a sad ending. Being called a true story further makes the ending more heart breaking. I delayed reading the end but had to read it one day and to carry a heavy heart for next one day atleast. Was surprised to find a Facebook page with huge number of fans in the memory of the girl (Khushi) who died in the story.

Chicken Soup for Teenagers - Which number it is, i do not recall. It has few good few ok ok articles, but actually not meant for me.

Blah Blah makes a small return

It has been a longtime since I wrote something. Two things are mainly responsible for the return. One is the pursuance made by a colleague on few occasions and another is that I was reading a blog in last week of somebody else. I even forgot the web address of this page so needed to check my e-mails of yesteryears to find the link. Doing that too was equally good because checking your old inbox and sent mails really takes you to the old memories. I saw the mails received from friends, photos I received and sent in 2007 (sometimes for matrimony also). One thing that struck me hard is that I think that my writing has taken a toll in all these years. Generally, it should improve with the time but my writing is witnessing the opposite trend.
All on all, I am back. The major changes happened in between are : Marriage, Pranav, from MTNL to MSETCL, from Dy.Manager to General Manager, from a voracious reader to Newspaper Only reader and changes that did not happen are remaining as dreamy as I have always been, still making yearly resolutions and breaking them, still enjoying the small things in life and still want to improve and achieve.

Feeling very bored these days. This feeling actually has now become a habit. After every few months, my mood gets sunk into NIM "nothing is moving".
Whenever , i see people getting retired from their service. First question that strikes in my mind "What did this person achieve in his life ?". All their achievement, their promotions, designations looks very small in front of a life spent.Frankly i feel sorry for them. i feel that they have wasted a beautiful and potential life. then the next question is that "What are the plans for post retirement ?". I expect an answer which shows some courage and aspiration but sadly most of the people say that they would now relax. I don't know what to advice then apart from saying "Yeah!, its good, you must relax now after having worked for so many years.". But that's not true at all.

Cleared all the different types of works, official as well as personal, today. Feeling so relaxed. Did so many personal works which were pending for a long time. Office table also looks very nice when no pending files are there. But i know, on monday again so many things would come up and i would find new pillows to sleep upon during lunch break.

Friday Evening looks so pleasant. Your mood is on all time high. You want to smell the essence of flowers, you see the blue colour of sky, you hear the chirping of birds, every thing becomes special and precious.

But it all turns horrible on Monday morning. That is Einstein Relativity Theorem.

Sad

Sad today. I was expecting something but it ducked me. Though i was not sure that it was good or bad for me but yes in short term it could have given me some stability in life.
Sad & Pissed off.

Shirdi Visit

We went to Shirdi on Sunday Morning. After struggling with huge traffic jam, we could reach there by 2 in the afternoon. Better part of the story is we had immensely good darshan there. We could spend a good amount of time in the sanctum.

After that, we went to shani signapur temple. The temple as its name suggests is for devotees of Shani Dev. Method of prayer at this temple is quite unique. First of all, only men are allowed to perform pooja (women can go inside but have to stand at some distance from the idol). Before entering into the temple, the devotee has to take bath and without rubbing water from his body in two clothes , one his innerwear and another is a dhoti (provided by shops there), he has to offer his prayers.

Nobody at signapur locks his door. It is believed that if somebody does any kind of stealing at the place would be immensely harmed by Shani Dev. Even visitors have to leave their wallets etc openly in tourist buses, jeeps etc.

After that, we started for Mumbai and via pune we arrived here at around 5 in the morning. Overall it took complete 24 hours. (i got up at 5 am only on previous day).

Bad News

It was a week of recieving bad news.

1) A girl was raped for around 8 hours in a moving scorpio in Delhi. highly shameful. how can we claim that we are living in a civilised society where such brutes are roaming free doing such dastardly acts without any fear and what kind of education are we providing to these so called padhe likhe rapists.

2) Skeletons of 15 children have been found in a house at Noida. All the children were sexually abused before getting murdered. Prime suspect is a servant living in that house. Horrible.

3) Saddam is about to get hanged. I do not argue his death sentence but if he expressed his wish to die by bullet shot then why not accept it.

Prayer

God, give us wisdom
and also the power to accept
wise things and to perform our
duties accordingly.

Little Things.

Again, i did not post anything for a long period. So here again, i'll write briefly about many happenings during last few days.

1) First of all, arrival of Mom Dad. Mummy Papa came to Mumbai on 15th of december. Today they are going back. Between these days, they visited Mahabaleshwar, Bhimashanka, Shirdi, Tyambakeshwar. Pune and Mumbai, of course. This time, they had a very good tour. Visited a lot of places and had many rest periods in between.

2) List of books i read recently. 'One night @ call centre', 'Five Point Someone', 'Pigs have wings', 'How Opal got wild, got kissed and got life' and 'Like a flowing river'. I have been very slow in reading books, these days. Got to do something about this.

3) My PC got bugged. It gets started but only after i keep trying 10-15 times. Then, it gets hanged very frequently and it always happen when i have not saved the work i am doing for hours. God!, i always thought 'MY PC STRONGEST' but it got bugged :(
and yes, this problem started because one day, i swithed it off without proper shut down.

Meaning of this life

Yesterday on my return journey, i was reading an article from Paulo Cohelo's recent book "like the flowing river". The article is about living a life. Reading it, took me back to one of the issue i have been grappling with since a long time, more so, in the last few years. The issue is "Why do we live ?"
If we look around, we see number of creatures who are just concerned to pass their day. An ant doesn't need to worry what legacy she has to leave. Its function is just looking for the food and to store it for consuming it later on. All other animals do similar things. But as human, sometimes we think that whether we are destined to the same fate which is assigned to these animals or do we have some superior function. Are we supposed to find hidden meaning and purpose of the life and strive to achieve it ? I don't know what Gautam Buddha, Mahavir Jain or Vivekananda wanted to achieve. In whose discovery they set themselves for. Atleast knowing it, will pave the way for search.
But till knowing what are we supposed to do other than things we do to satisfy our abject needs, this life bears complete similarity with the life of all other animals. Till then, we live to die.

Little things.

Here is another volley of some little things coming into my mind while writing this post.

1. Today i am going to Delhi for spending Diwali Vacation with my family. So tried to complete all the office and household work that could be in any way related with me. Gave statements to higher ups and diwali baksheesh to Bai at home. What kind of cool feeling it is, to feel yourself free from all the work atleast for some time.
I had to buy a travelling bag but could find time. so this time too, i'll be looking a bit like SRK in K3G running with 2 or 1 black bag in his hand.

2. Watched Mr. Beans with Sd on sunday and yesterday too. Fabulous comedy. Going to gulp down every movie of him at home.

3. Happy Deepawali to all.

4. Did a negotiating act between a case involing two ever-fighting communities :
Kaam Wali and Makan Wali. though this time, it was not makaan waali but a makaan waala. Tried to calm down a supposedly-mimmickedly-annoyed kaam waali but had to forgo my morning tea in return. (who wants to drink his morning tea while chatting with a nagging kaam wali instead of doing it with reading newspaper, Malishka ke saath ). But at last, i think, i succeeded. I made her agreed to continue work at that place.

Foot in Mouth desease.

While everybody else is preoccupied with worries over chikunguniya / dengue / polio, i am here trying to add one more entry to their list. The most dreaded but most undercovered FMD a.k.a Foot in Mouth Desease.

Patients of these desease blurt out anything in anybody's presence. Give them a chance, and one'll get the detailed brain mapping report of the patient.

Almost everybody suffers from it. Me too, to some extent. but last week, a patient really created trouble for me.

To that Patient: Why the hell, you come into my way yaar ? i really dislike when you create oppurtunities to fight though i love fighting with you otherwise.

Lingua Franca of India version America 2.0

Lingua franca of Urban India is changing (and already changed much). Now a days, if you happen to fix your hearing senses over some college going guys n gals, you can easily notice the blatant use of words used in western countries like "don't piss me off", "f**k off", "take your f*****g ass away from here", "shit" or "bullshit" etc etc etc.
what problem can i have over their use ? absolutely none. But what i am worried about is that there is lot of hue and cry over our Hindi being dying out. And the hindi lovers (mainly govt.) are trying hard to translate every word of English into Hindi. What if these words are translated and spoken off in Hindi ? Now, if somebody speaks these words in hindi in public, then all those who are simply blurting out these words would pass a smirk and slid away as something sick, dangerous transmitable language has been used in their lofty presence. There comes the army of Prince Charles.

I won't write much now but would end this piece by saying that obscenity, in any language, remains obscene only.

To write that i've nothing to write today.

Condolence

Today is september 11. it is 5 years now since the WTC towers were crashed down. My heart goes out for the people who lost their lives or loved ones in the tragedy.


God, please help people realising the importance of peace and harmony.